GCW #5Dark match action:
Peach Dragon defeated Aisha Jordan following the Octopus Lock. Hiero Dragon made a special appearance and defeated “Playboy” Biff Tanner in a “legends” match. Pre-Show action!: Team SSW vs. John Atlas, John Michaels, & Hardcore Luchadore This was originally supposed to be on the PPV, but, seeing as the whole concept kind of lead ballooned, Bianca Devereux made the executive decision to stick this crap on the pre-show. It wasn’t much more than a spot fest. The end came when John Atlas pinned Zombie King, following the Atlas Bomb. Onto the show! Opening four-way tag: Schmitt & Koth vs. Dogs of War vs. The Rooks vs. The Flying Dragons The Flying Dragons were originally in this match, but, seeing as they are better wrestlers than everyone else in this match, Bianca decided it was right to put them here. Besides, you can’t go wrong with an opening four-way! This match was disjointed early, with all of these teams trying to figure each other out. The Rooks were desperately trying to impressed Emma Divine, who looks to have dumped them for better wrestlers. Alas, the Rooks just looked lost in this match. Thankfully, their pain was short-lived; they were eliminated at the 5 minute mark when Koth pinned Bishop. This left three teams, as the Flying Dragons wowed the crowd with their amazing aerial antics! At the 10 minute mark, they finished off the Dogs of the War following a Double Team Dragon Kick on Berserker. This left two teams with plenty to prove. Wrestlers were flying everywhere for the next few minutes, with the two teams playing a big time game of “Can you top this?” Unfortunately for the Schmitt & Koth team, experience was the difference maker in this one. Aiden Schmitt when up top, trying to top the 450 Splash that White Dragon did a few minutes earlier. He went for a Shooting Star Press on Red Dragon, only to fall flat on his face. He failed to realize that Red Dragon was just faking being knocked unconscious. This allowed Red to grab a La Magistral for a nice victory for the Flying Dragons. In the back, Bianca Devereaux is doing paperwork when Emma Divine walks in, complete with sexy referee shirt and shorts. Emma: You wanted to see me? Bianca: (looking up from her paperwork.) Ah, yes. I did. I want to make sure you get the basics of refereeing down, and I want your word that you will call this match down the middle. I don’t want the Tag Titles changing hands on any kind of tomfoolery! Emma: I assure you, I have no tomfoolery in mind for this match! Bianca: Good. I have seen how you look at Nico Buchanan and Duncan Kane! The Serpentors might not be much to look at, but they are our champions! You remember that. Emma: Oh no! I would never think about doing that… (Before she can continue, the song “Bootylicious” starts blaring throughout the locker room.) Emma: Where’s that damn music coming from? Bianca: I don’t know, Emma, and seeing what league we’re in, I am not sure I want to know…I just know I won’t like it. (In the locker room area, Ralph Champion is all pissed off about losing their match tonight.) Ralph: Those fucking jobbers! They couldn’t even beat those sorry asses! I am embarrassed to be a part of SSW after that showing. (He opens up his locker, and suddenly a bowling ball falls on his head, knocking him unconscious, as a bunch of wrestlers run over to his aid. What the heck is going on here?) Outback Bob vs. Loki Dragon This match wasn’t much of anything. It basically feature an angry Outback Bob beating on Loki Dragon, while Loki Dragon tried to run away from Outback Bob. Bob put the Dragon out of his misery at 5 minutes when Loki submitted to the Outback Breaker. In the back, Quinn Stanley is with Chloe Madison and Nera. Chloe says that she has a plan for tonight, and plans for her men to go two for two in their matches. Before she can say anything else, Bootylicious blares again, while everyone looks around confused. Alyssa vs. The Invisible Kidd This was the first “big match” of the night, as Alyssa meets up with the Invisible Kidd in an inter gender battle. The Kid came prepared when he tossed a pair of underwear in Alyssa’s face, then vanished. While Alyssa looked around for him, he snuck up behind her, and hit a Tiger Suplex for 2. Hellcat that she is, Alyssa was able to turn the tide against the Kidd, and dominated the next few minutes. She beat him senseless, while stopping at various times to bitch him out. We’re not sure which is worse. The tide turned when the Kidd vanished again, and he was able to get the advantage back against Alyssa. The crowd was going wild, as the Kid worked over Alyssa for the next few minutes, but Alyssa got the advantage back after turning a Kidd Power Bomb into a mid air DDT. Things weren’t looking too hot for the Kidd, as Alyssa was calling for the Suicidal Kiss…but it hit knee! This allowed the Kidd to grab Alyssa into a small package for the 3 count and the victory! Kidd rolled to the outside, as Alyssa was livid on the inside of the ring! She couldn’t believe that she lost to the Invisible Kidd! Quinn Stanley is in the back, talking with the Pirates! Pirate talk ensues. The jist was that they plan to win their match tonight by any means necessary! Jasper Faust vs. Colossus (with Chloe Madison) This was a decent ten minute match with Colossus dominating the first few minutes, while Faust tried to gain an advantage. The end came when Faust fooled Colossus into hitting himself on the turnbuckle, and then proceeded to beat Colossus from the pillar to post for the next minute of so for the victory. Chloe looked angry. In the back, Bianca is talking to Sebastian Lannes when Peach Dragon walks in, wearing glasses and looking rather professional. Bianca: One moment, Sebastien. (to Peach.) What are you doing here? Peach: Well, seeing as I am the only GCW wrestler not named Locault that’s not on this show, I decided to do get on it! Bianca: That’s…nice. What’s that, Sebastian? Oh, it’s just Peach Dragon. She is made because she’s not getting a push in GCW. What’s that? Tell her to put on a skirt and heels? Well…it appears she has taken your advice. Well, yeah, I guess she looks hot. You’ll be right back? Okay. (puts down the phone.) What do you want, Peach? Peach: I want to be your beautiful Asian assistant for the evening! It’s only fair because, really, I’m a star! I know wrestling moves that have never even been seen in the US. I’m beautiful, I’m charismatic, yet freaking Hardcore Luchadore gets more TV Time than I do! No more! Bianca: Okay… Peach: So, what do you want me to do first, huh? I can type up letters, make matches, or maybe we can just chat… (Before she can say anything else, Ralph Champion saunters into the office.) Ralph: Excuse me. I have a request. Bianca: What’s that, Ralph? Ralph: I want a World title match…tonight. Bianca: What’s that? My hearing’s going… Ralph: I want a World title match tonight. (On the phone, you can hear audible laughing.) Ralph: Excuse me. What is this? He finds this funny? (grabs the phone.) Yeah. Who the hell are you? The Director of Personnel? Well, fuck you, buddy. Don’t you know who I am? No, I am not my loser brother, Ralph Champion! I’m Mr. Clutch! The Ten-time World Champion! The man who made CPW AND STW! I’m Lucien Champion! Why are you laughing? Do you find this funny? I want a World title match tonight! Yeah…well…you just go and do that, buddy, we’ll see who last longer! (to Bianca.) Look, you two seem smart. I want to main event tonight! I’m money in the bank! People love my matches! If you don’t, I am leaving this league. What’s CPW’s number? They’ll be happy to have me! Think it over, I got to hold some people down, I’ll see you later (Peach looks at Bianca, confused. Bianca just smiles) Bianca: You want to know what you can do for me? I Peach: Yeah. I’ll do anything… Bianca: Good. Well, find him an opponent for tonight, and make it snappy. (Peach just walks off, frustrated.) Bianca: Ah, delegation of authority. It’s fantastic. In the back, Chloe is arguing with Colossus. Chloe: How dare you! You’re 7+ feet tall! How dare you lose to that guy! He’s not even 6’4”! Colossus: But…I… Chloe: I don’t care! You’re a member of Madison Enterprises! Madison Enterprises people are winner…like me I win all the time. I get whatever I want because I’m Chloe Madison! I have appeared in music videos, commercials, TV Shows because I’m Chloe Madison! If you want to stick wit ha winner, stop being a los… (Suddenly, before she can say anything more, Bootylicious kicks up again.) Chloe: I…he…WHERE IS THAT DAMN MUSIC COMING FROM?!? (Before Chloe can do anything else, she gets slapped on the ass.) Chloe turns around, and sees Scott Liarman standing there.) Liarman: Daaaammmmn, woman! That’s one FLAT ass! Chloe: WHAT THE HELL!?! DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM! YOU DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!!!!! Liarman: Hey now. It ain’t you fault that you’re packing da white woman booty! You see, I feel for you because not all booties can be as perfect as mine. (shakes ass, while Chloe is appalled.) Chloe: GET OUT OF MY SITE! I WILL FIRE YOU! Liarman: Keep your pants on…or don’t, I prefer it that way! (starts shaking his ass again.) Chloe: WHAT DO YOU WANT?!? Liarman: It appears you have a problem. Two problems, actually. A booty problem, and a problem with a little someone known as Jasper Faust. I know this Faust well. He destroyed my master plan to give everyone in the world…a great booty! Now, I am a little pissed at this because everyone should have a booty like Scott Liarman, you know what I mean? (starts shaking it again.) Chloe: I can’t believe this! Colossus! GET THIS MAN OUT OF MY SIGHT! (Colossus is just memorized by Scott Liarman’s booty.) Colossus: It’s so…I can’t take my eyes off of it! Liarman: Hey, ma’am. Don’t blame him! He’s just weak-willed. He can’t take the awesome power of hypno booty! (Liarman walks over to Colossus, and chops him between the neck and shoulder blade, knocking him out.) Liarman: Like I was saying, you got a problem with Faust…and a flat booty, I got a problem with Faust…and a nice booty. I think we can work together on this…and another problems. Chloe: Fine! I don’t like you, but what do I have to lose? I’ll help you against Jasper Faust. If the powers of booty are as you say, then maybe this partnership will prove very profitable… Sandman Jason Grand vs. Mane This match was made by Bianca, after she looked at the rest of the card. This was a decent big man match with both guys willing to beat the crap of one another to get the victory. The end came when Grand finished Mane with the Death Valley Driver for the hard fought victory. In the back, Aisha Jordan is bending over when she suddenly gets slapped on the ass. She turns around and sees Scott Liarman there, shaking it. Liarman: Now that’s a booty! Big & round like an apple. That booty has its own hemisphere. Aisha: Huh? What are you doing here? And why are you admiring my ass? Liarman: Hey, woman. I’m “Bootylicious” Scott Liarman. Perhaps, you’ve heard of me. I apologize for my roughness. I was just in the locker room, and saw this nice ass booty sticking out calling me like a siren’s song. When it comes to the booty, I’m a weak man. I had to investigate. I wasn’t expecting much, but when I saw the rest of the package, well, I’m impressed girl. Aisha: Uh… Liarman: Look, I have seen you in action around here. And, let’s face it, you aren’t very good in that ring. You can’t even win a match! Aisha: Hey! Liarman: It’s true. I saw you in that ring, and I wasn’t very impressed. You wore some hideous outfit that covered up the greatest asset…the booty, but, looking at it now in the outfit you have on….That’s a booty! That’s why I want you to be my second, my protégé. Stick with me, baby, I’ll make you a star! Aisha: Uh…thanks. The two shake hands, as we go back to the ring. Pirates! vs. Renee Olivier, Rainbow Pony, + Abraham This was a decent little Six-man match with each competitor giving what they could to make the match better. The match featured Olivier and Pirate & Pirate Elisa flinging insults at one another throughout the match, eventually leading to a spirited round of fisticuffs between the two women. Pony & Abraham, meanwhile, were able to dominate the pirates, by taking advantage of some effective double teams. The end came in shocking fashion when Abraham was going for the Bronco Buster on Marcel, Rainbow Pony turned on him. This led to a triple team by the two pirates and Pony on Abraham. They pinned Abraham for the three count. Postmatch, Pony donned the pirate eye patch as the crowd couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Abraham was crying in the corner, while Olivier was shaking a mean fist in the corner. This is far from over! In the back, Peach Dragon walks into the office of Bianca Devereux, as Bianca is excited to hear what she has to say. Bianca: What’s up? Did you get Ralph an opponent? Peach: Yeah, yeah. I did it. I got him an opponent. You’ll going to be impressed! He’s big time! Bianca: You didn’t…pay too much for him, did you? This is GCW, we’re on a tight budget. Peach: The funniest thing. As I was thinking about it, I got this package from the Mysterious Voice™, suggesting the perfect opponent, and the package had $20, some smokes, a baseball bat, and a bottle of Jack Daniels in it. I called him up, and the opponent was more than willing to show up for that price. I couldn’t believe it! It was like Mr. Voice™ had a guy in mind all along! Bianca: That’s strange. Well, thankfully, Mr. Voice™ is on the ball. I can’t wait to see who the opponent is! (Just then, Mike Pizzazz walks into the office, as the crowd goes nuts.) Peach: Oh my! It’s Mike Pizzazz! Mike: Hello there, niece of mine. What’s wrong? No opponent for tonight? Peach: I was in a dark match! Mike: Ouch! You should have just talked to me. I am not above out and out nepotism! Peach: Arigato! Bianca: What are you doing here, Pizzazz? Mike: Besides fulfilling my contractually mandated interview time, (winks at the camera.) I am here with a request. Bianca: What’s up? Mike: I fear I have a stalker. Bianca: A stalker? Mike: Oh yeah. You see, there’s this one. She’s very beautiful, and I fear that she’s warm for my form. I see all these cards, letters, and roses I get from her, and I can tell where’s she getting at. She wants me. She can’t wait to just rush into the ring, and rip my clothes off, and I don’t want it happening to during a match. I see the look in her eyes whenever she sees me. It’s okay, Chloe. I know you want to ride the bullet train to Tokyo and back again, but please, not in the ring, baby! (The crowd starts going crazy.) Bianca: Chloe Madison? Pizzazz: Oh yeah. I know how she is. I am not stupid. She wants me. (the crowd starts chanting, Pizzazz! Pizzazz! Pizzazz!) Bianca: Chloe? Pizzazz: Yeah. And I have a match against Diego Herrera. I know she’ll be there, watching me lovingly, wanting to know how you get in the pants of the Samurai Warrior, and I feel uncomfortable. Now, normally, I would be all for a late night rendezvous with Chloe, but, really, I am going to be in that ring beating up poor Diego Herrera, and I don’t want her running in there, trying desperately to get me to have sex with her. This is a family show! That’s why I want protection for the evening. Bianca: What do you have in mind, exactly? Pizzazz: Well, seeing as my lovely niece isn’t doing much of anything right now. Well, hey, she can be my bodyguard tonight. I trust her enough. She’ll protect from that wild woman! Right, Peach? Peach: Oh, yes. Sure! Bianca: Well, you got it, Pizzazz. And, uh…good luck out there. Pizzazz: Later, baby! I need to get ready for my match! Ralph Champion vs. ??? Ralph Champion comes out and cuts a promo. He’s pissed about the fact that a man of his caliber is sitting on the sidelines. “What is this? STW?” he asks. Don’t make me go to IPW again…please! I don’t want to face Playboy Biff again! So, where’s my opponent? The lights go out, and strobe lights blast throughout the arena. The crowd starts getting excited. Seconds later, a guy steps out from the curtain. He is wearing street clothes and carrying a baseball bat and a bottle of Jack Daniels. He has a big gut, and looks to be incredibly out of shape. He runs out of the ring, and swings his bat around as Ralph heads for the hills. Walter: Ralph is getting shown up here at this PPV! I’m not sure who this guy is, but it looks like he means business. Tia: Hey! Isn’t that Christian Cross? Walter: Now that you mention it! It just might be! Tia: He’s back! I haven’t seen Cross since like 2003 or so! And now he’s here in GCW! Walter: And he’s partying like it’s 1999! Tia: Too bad it’s 2007! (Ralph Champion grabs the microphone.) Ralph: Ah, I see how it is. I guess if I can’t main event, then I am going to have make Christian Cross my bitch again! I can go for that! Tia: This could be a real good match. Heck, Cross had the match of the year with Lucien Champion in 2001! Walter: That was like 45 pounds ago, and against Lucien in STW! Now, he’s out of shape and facing RALPH Champion in GCW! Tia: Who are you to doubt Ralph? He’s a legend in the making! Ralph Champion vs. Christian Cross(we think) Quick squash here, as Ralph had little trouble in this one, ducking a bat shot, before super kicking Cross back into the abyss of washed up wrestlers for the victory! In the locker room, Kane and Buchanan are getting ready for their match tonight for the tag team titles when Locault comes up to them. What is he doing here? Kane: Locault? What are you doing here? Locault: I am sorry to interrupt you guys, but I was told to give you this message. Buchanan: What message? Locault: Apparently, the Rooks are trying to get Emma Divine back on their side, so they have blocked her from refereeing the match tonight because she’s their manager. They are holding her in her locker room. Kane: Oh, man! This isn’t want we needed tonight! Buchanan: You know, this never happened to the other fella! Kane: Let’s go! Mike Pizzazz (with Peach Dragon) vs. Dynamic Diego Herrera (with Chloe Madison) This match wasn’t anything special. The crowd was expecting Pizzazz to dominate, and he did so in this one. Chloe was frustrated, but even she had to expect that Herrera was at a disadvantage. She interfered to give Herrera a temporary advantage, as Chloe would soon get into a cat fight with Peach Dragon. Pizzazz was able to get the advantage back a few minutes later and take home the win with the Out Clause. In the back, Quinn Stanley is interviewing Blue Tornado. He talks about his title match tonight, and how he is looking forward to getting the GCW Title around his waist. He almost won it last time, and he can win it this time, he feels. Chloe is 0 for 2 tonight, and he looks forward to pitching the shutout and taking what’s most important to Chloe…the GCW Title. GCW Women's title: Jaguara© vs. Aviadora This match was an excitable little women’s match, featuring two of the better women’s wrestlers out there. They put on quite a show with Aviadora going for her lucha moves, endearing her to the LA Crowd. Jaguara stood firm as the Wild Woman from the Amazon dominating the lightweight Aviadora with power moves. She even up top herself, hitting an impressive flying drop kick onto Aviadora. Aviadora was pugnacious, though, fighting Jaguara to the last man, or woman in this case. The end came for Aviadora, though, when she accidentally missed a 450 Splash when Jaguara rolled out of the way. This allowed Jaguara to hit a beautiful Jungle Kick for the victory, to hold onto the GCW Women’s title. In the back, Buchanan & Kane are at the dressing room of Emma Divine, demanding to get into the room. Kane: ’ey you! Rooks! Get yer asses out here! Buchanan: You better believe him! By Lazenby, if I have to break this door down! Voice from the room: Lazenby was no Connery! Buchanan shakes a fist. Buchanan: You’ll pay for that! Connery didn’t have a co-stars like Telly Savalas and Diana Rigg! Kane: Who loves you, baby? Buchanan kicks in the door. He doesn’t see the Rooks, but he sees the Serpentors! The two teams start brawling right here and now, and it looks like they will just be meeting right now! GCW Tag titles: Serpentors© vs. Duncan Kane & Nico Buchanan These two teams brawled all around the arena for a bit. Using everything from pipes to two by fours to chairs as weapons. They brawled into the crowd, exciting the fans who got a close up look at this one. Emma Divine was trying to maintain order, but, really, what is she going to do? The Serpentors got some help from the fans, who provided them with chairs and the occasional frying pan. Finally, they brawled their ways back to the ring, and this match looks to start on an official note. The two teams just brawled with one another as any hope of a real tag match was soon abandoned. Both teams would get near falls quickly. The Serpentors hit the Snake Bite on Kane, but only got two when Buchanan interfered. Buchanan hit his modified Stroke on Copperhead, but Diamondback made the save. It was quickly obvious to both teams that they were facing their toughest opponents of the new GCW era. The tide was failing to turn for the next few minutes with both teams just beating the hell out of one another, but not really getting anywhere. Finally, Emma Divine decided to get involved when she begin to argue with Copperhead. This led to Emma finally making Copperhead, and Buchanan grabbed him, and hit his swinging full nelson into a release Dragon Suplex, allowing Kane to get the cover for the victory and the titles. Divine, Buchanan, and Kane celebrated, while the Serpentors looked angry in the ring. Houdini Hardcastle vs. Todd Davidson This was an okay match serving as a gap between the Tag Championship match and the World title match. It only lasted about ten minutes, as the end came when Hardcastle reversed a move by Davidson into a pump handle slam for the victory. GCW Title: Nera© (with Chloe Madison) vs. Blue Tornado This match was the big main event of the evening. It featured big time entrances from both of the competitors and had the crowd on their feet throughout the match. This match was an epic thirty minute affair with Tornado gaining the early advantage, using his speed before Nera turned the tide, punishing Tornado with his devastating repertoire of power moves. Tornado bent but refused to break. Nera tried and tried, but he couldn’t put away the tenacious Tornado. This would lead to the third act of the match, as Tornado was once again able to get the advantage, while Nera was beginning to look tired. Can Tornado pull it out? Or will Nera remain the champion? We skip here to find out! Walter: The crowd is on their feet, going wild for the Blue Tornado! Chloe is slamming her fist on the mat, trying everything to get Nera back into this match. Tornado is working over Nera in the corner with some nice kicks. Tia: Come on, Nera! You’re bigger than him! It’s time to show it! Walter: Impressive European uppercut by Tornado, as Nera falls back into the corner. He’s looking positively exhausted out here! Chloe needs to do something! Tia: Oh, she is, Walter. She is. She’s phoning in a run in! Walter: Oh, come on, referee! You need to do something about this! We can’t have people phoning in run ins. Wait a minute, I am not seeing anybody! Tia: Come on! Someone get out here, dammit! Walter: Knee lift by Tornado, as Nera is down! Tornado is yelling at Chloe on the outside, while she just…uh…throws her cell phone at him. Yeah. That’ll work. (The big screen pops up with a scene in the back, as Jason Grand + Mike Pizzazz are holding Colossus and Diego Herrera at bay.) Walter: Ah! There they are! That explains it! Tia: This isn’t right! This sucks! Chloe needs to hire some better people! These guys can’t even run in properly! This is pathetic! Walter: The crowd is going nuts. They can feel this upset coming! Tia: Dammit! Somebody do something! Walter: Tornado motions to the crowd. They are on their feet, cheering Tornado. He picks up Nera….BIG TIME BODY SLAM! HE JUST SENT THAT 300+ POUND MAN, THUNDERING TO THE MAT! Tornado’s dancing! He can feel it! Tia: Oh, god! Walter: He’s calling for it! THE TORNADO DDT! WAIT! WHAT’S GOING ON OUTSIDE THE RING?!? CHLOE’S INJURED?!? The referee is out, checking on Chloe! HEY, IDIOT! WHAT ABOUT THE MATCH!?! TORNADO DDT BY TORNADO! NOT LIKE IT MATTERS! He has the pin, but the referee is out there, helping Chloe! MY GOD! Tia: Chloe could be seriously injured out there, you don’t know! You shouldn’t be so quick to judge, Walter! Walter: Someone’s coming through the crowd! OH MY GOD! IT’S IT’S MASTADON! MASTADON IS BACK IN GCW!!!!!! He is in the ring….BIG TIME SPEAR ON BLUE TORNADO! GOD DAMMIT! Mastadon has ran out of the ring now, DAMMIT! Tia: Ha! That will teach him! Walter: Meanwhile, they have discovered the problem with Chloe. She…she…BROKE A NAIL! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! Walter: PENA DI MORTE BY NERA! He covers Tornado, the referee is, of course, back in the ring now. 1.…………2.………..3! DAMMIT! TORNADO WAS SCREWED! Chloe, Nera, & Mastadon are celebrating in the ring. THIS JUST MAKES ME SICK! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! Tia: CHLOE COMES OUT ON TOP AGAIN! Walter: See you soon, fans, for GCW #6! I AM STILL DISGUSTED BY ALL OF THIS! WHEN WILL THIS COME EVER GET HERS!?! See you tomorrow, fans! |