SURF'S UP, WHITE DOVEIn Surf's Up, White Dove, roving report Edison Moss tries to get a word with dedicated surfer/pro wrestler Elisa Marino on the beach, as she gives her opinion on her nemesis, the White Dove!
_____ The camera zooms in on the beach at sunrise. It’s quiet at the beach, except for the pounding of waves onto the sand. The sky is a delightful mix of blue and orange, and the sun is beginning to peak out from over the ocean. Surfers can be seen pounding the waves, even at this early hour, and, far in the distance, dolphins can be seen coming up from air. For most, this would be a delightful experience, but not for intrepid PRL reporter, Edison Moss, who is here today to conduct an interview. Edison: It’s cold out here! And this sand is freezing, and it’s like 6:30 in the morning. What kind of nut would willingly go out at this hour? (Just then, PRL women’s star Elisa Marino comes running in from the water. She’s wearing a black wetsuit, and her blond hair has been drenched by the water. She’s carrying a colorful, baby blue surfboard in her hand, and is anxiously jogging up to dry land. Edison sees her and begins asking questions.) Edison: (huffing and puffing from having to run in the sand.) Elisa, Elisa. Can I ask you question? Elisa: It seems you’ve asked me one already. (She looks him over.) Dude, this is the beach, what’s with the khakis and polo shirt? Edison: I’ll ask the questions here, thank you very much. I’ll have you know that I had to get up at 5:30 in the morning to conduct this interview. The sun isn’t even up at 5:30, I’ll have you know! Elisa: I feel so sorry for you. You know, bro, I could be out there, catching some waves right now, but, instead, I’m supposed to be talking to you about PRL. Let me tell ya, bra, I would rather be out there, wiping out on extremely rough surf than talking about the White Dove! Edison: I take it you don’t like her very much. Elisa: Dude, you don’t know the half of it. You know, I am here, I’m blonde, I surf, I am from California, and who does the PRL portray as the premiere women’s wrestler? Some corn fed Midwestern kook, whose fashion sense is about as bad as yours! Edison: (offended.) Hey! Elisa: Come off it, dude. Only squares would wear that outfit on this beach. So, you want to know what would happen when I meet the White Dove in the ring? Edison: Yes! I am sure that’s a question that all of PRL’s fans are inquiring about! Elisa: Well, you see that kook out there? (She shows some guy out there, in baggies, trying hard to surf, but not doing a very good job of it.) Elisa: Pretend that is the White Dove, and pretend that wave is me, and wait for it….wait for it…. (Seconds later, the surfer trips off his board, and falls face first into the wave, causing Edison to cringe slightly at the surfer’s face plant.) Elisa: Wipe out! That explains it all. Aloha! (She grabs her board, and goes back into the water, leaving Edison standing there.) Edison: Well, I guess that about says it all. This is Edison Moss, signing off! |